Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Love, relationships, and social taboos

"She's such a relationship junkie"

"It took her exactly one month to get over him"

"She was never in love with him to start with, falling in love isn't like changing shoes u know"


Is there a certain number of times one is allowed to fall in love and into a relationship before it becomes socially unacceptable?

I would never use the terms "in love" and "socially acceptable" in one sentence if it was up to me, but it was brought to my attention recently that a lot of people strongly believe that love only happens once, that if it does happen more than the one time then it is morally incorrect.. Often referred to as a "fuck up".

From another standpoint, psychologically speaking, there are people who would rather fall in love and have long term relationships over and over again instead of stringing along a series of encounters not because of "the power of love" per se, but because they have a condition known as "relationship addiction" aka "codependence".

Having said that, why do people rush into categorising people and judging them on decisions they make in matters concerning none other but themselves? and more over, since when do we get to dictate the number of times one can or cannot fall in love?

Seriously, if a person is strong enough to gather the pieces after a breakup, and move on.. Why can't people accept it as "strength" rather than the equivalent of "love whoring"!!

And why is it that no matter how good a person is in all the other aspects of life, it gets flung right out the window the second her "relationship CV" is brought up?

(Ofcourse, this is not applicable to men over here, hence the "her"!)

- to venting! xx

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device


PinkChampagne said...

Welcome backkkkkkkkkkkkk SexyFace!!!!!! :) Its so good to have you back! lovesyouuuuuuuuuuuu!
*squeezesyoubreathless* xoxo

I strongly believe that your personal life is just that...personal, and its really no dont owe anyone an explanation...who's to say how it goes or how many times it happens..thats the best thing about never really know..and we lie to ourselves if we say that we dont want can you have a soul or say you really know yourself if you havent honestly taken that leap of makes me laugh when people think they are an authority on someone elses love life because noone has a clue whats between two people except those involved...and noone can ever understand how each individual psyche acts and reacts after a breakup or the loss of a loved one...our doubled standard way of living is actually created and fueled by know..the ones who judge their sisters rather than respect them for having the guts to know what they want and express it freely or actually *gasp!* have the audacity to take their happiness into their own hands, because they in turn don't have the capacity to feel comfortable in their own skin..and they use these girls to make themselves look good and to feel better about themselves by constantly putting them down and judging publicly...reality check?
They sure as hell arent the ones who can maintain a mature relationship on any level.

Ruby Woo said...

Yaay you're back ;**

Ohh and I do believe that a person can fall in love more than once even though your first will still be there.

I don't believe however that a person can love someone else a month after the break up. Why? Because falling in love is a major thing ya3ni you can easily fall in love but it's so hard to fall out of it.

But... I really don't care if they fall in love and change their partners more often than they change their hairstyles. It's still their choice!

Peony said...

u're baaaaacckkk !!! :D:D:D

i believe that love never goes away.. it will always be there, even if the couple break up..

to answer you question, it's because we live in a double standard world where men can play around all they want and require their women to be innocent, relationship free, and "san3ah"...

Delicately Realistic said...

YAYAYYAY ur back !!!

Late for yoga....will comment when i get back ..

just had to say hello ;*************

eshda3wa said...

first of all imbarak 3alaich elshahar..

life would be so much easier if everyone minded their own business sa7..

and NOTHING (but the rare few) every work out the first time around

and everyone who accuses anyone of love whoring is probably a love whore them self but need to direct the attention away from them.

Fastidious Babe said...

PC: THANK YOU! i think it all boils down to maturity and personal growth.. cuz i can't accept that there are adults out there (yes, men do it too) who think that they get to judge people's personal relationships and get away with it!
if only there were more people here who opened up their minds and stepped off their high horses every once in a while before pointing fingers, we would be a much happier and healthier community! so thank you, for getting it and for a reply that totally made me smile from within xx

ruby woo: even the concept of your "first love is always going to stay" differs from one person to the other.. people should be more accepting to that, or just (like you do) not care who loved who when or how many times ;) xx

peony: i wonder when people will decide to get realistic about it though.. do u see it happening 3ndna?

DR: lol Hello right back atcha, hope yoga went well! can't wait to hear ur say in this! xx

eshda3wa: yn3ad 3alaina w 3alaich inshalla.. yes life would be great if everyone minded their own businesses.. but that is not how it works.. yeah well x

Savvy Mode SG said...

there is definitely more than one love in a person's lifetime. but i know gal pals who do not want to be along, esp during the holidays. so they will be with any jackass so there is a bf around for parties....

3anooda said...

awalan welcome back - been reading u and when i decided to add u to my blogroll achoofich u decided to leave.

everybody loves in their own way oo ako different kinds of love ba3ad - nobody has the right to judge.

i say fuck off to everyone - do ur own thing

Big Pearls said...

welcome back:D

and keep posting..

miss you:*

Anonymous said...

It gives people a sort of self acceptance and the justification that they need when they talk about people or get in their business... like "ooh look at that, her life sucks more than mine... I'm ok" when in truth she's just in denial... and you can love until u find THE person ur looking for... this is love we're talking about...nobody should try to take that away from you... and especially when your head and heart are strong enough to do it again... socially unacceptable my tushy;p... oh and welcome back sugar;*

Fastidious Babe said...

savvy mode: to each her own ;)

3anooda: and i second that lol

BP: thanx babe xx

purelyorchid: lool couldn't have put it better myself XD glad to be back babes xx

Delicately Realistic said...

So very very very true...

I find that every time i judge someone i find myself in there exact same position so that's why i stopped judging anyone period.

People can love more than once. I'm definitely sure of that one.

And i hate it when ppl judge a person based on their previous relationship mishaps. Sometimes they deserve it....but a lot of times it just was never meant to be.

Fastidious Babe said...

DR that is so true, people should put themselves in the other persons shoes and imagine what it might feel like to be judged that way, cuz what goes around does indeed come around! xx